Okay from now on whenever I think I’m going to mumble I will speak in a Rock Bottom accent.
so i was looking up off bug spray ads and i was expecting to see some lady on a lawn chair with a bottle of bug spray but instead i saw
then i came across this gem
and this last one was pure gold
god bless you off bug spray
*whispers* Mulan, Merida, and Rapunzel didn’t have men saving them
*regular voice* Lilo and Nani’s sisterly love for each other was a big point in their movie
*slightly aggravated voice* Enchanted questioned marrying a man you hardly know
*shouting* FROZEN ISN’T THE FIRST MOVIE TO HAVE THESE POINTS
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.
I need this.
[AGGRESSIVELY APOLOGIZES FOR BEING A BAD FRIEND AND AN UNPLEASANT PERSON TO BE AROUND]
My dad was telling me about these girls at his old college who invented a nail polish that paints on clear, and if you stir your drink with your finger with the nail polish on, it will react with the “Date Rape” drug and turn red.
Dude. It’s genius.
I saw this before and didn’t reblog it because it didn’t have anything to say how but now that there is a link saying how I wil reblog it.
why do americans get so shocked that there is a schooling system different to theirs
Because we get so excited over the idea that education could actually be better and fun and not make us fall into debt
Drew Robin Williams as the King of Hyrule as a tribute to the late great actor. He loved Legend of Zelda so I’ve incorporated his love for the game into this sketch.
The best part is he gets slowly more annoyed
"Gosh, I hope I can be part of the team someday."
"You will. Trust me."
(no stats given for GQ and trans* people)
i wonder how much longer i have before it’s completely impossible for me to google information pertaining to my degree